hehe n e wais.. so theres another thingy that was quite interesting today. This happened from like a while ago, like last year. I met this guy online and we started chatting and stuff. Which was fine. Then he gave me his # so I started calling him like everynight like a fucking routine, which wasnt so exactly fine, but it was still aight. But then it started becoming a problem cuz even tho we said we were just gonna be friends, the phone convos werent exactly "just friends" convos, u kno wat i mean? So yea, and I had a bf then, so it was pretty bad.
I really didnt wanna hurt my bf back then (my ex), but then i really relaly liked the guy that i was talking to over the phone and stuff. Liking, as in like a lil more than just liking ur friends kinda thing. And i really really really wanted my relationship to last real long with my ex, and since he was in my grade and in my skool and everything, and since i got to see him everyday and everything, I decided that it was gonna be smart enough for me to just stick to one guy. Which, I decided, was gonna be my bf (i'll just call him 'my ex' from now on, cuz u mite get confused). And even tho i really was gonna keep the relationship between me and the online guy as "just friends", i dunno why but i felt really guilty calling him every single night and talkin on the phone for like fucking 2 hours and stuff. I didnt even call my ex every single night. And it's not like i thought of him as "only a friend" back then, either. It was killing me, it seriously was. And I guess the online guy didnt realize that, and when I told him that I felt really guilty for calling him every single night and talking for like forever, he just told me that it was okay cuz we weren't doing anything wrong. Well, that's easy for HIM to say. That was so totally not the case for me. I really hadta end my relationship with the online guy pronto, cuz I felt like that was gonna be the easiest way.
.... and i eventually did, which, surprisingly, didnt really affect my emotions at all. It didnt really get me depressed or anything. Everything was chill...... until i started having lil tiny bickers with my ex, and we gradually started having more and more bickers a month, which turned into more and more bickers a week, which turned into more and more bickers each DAY. It wasnt really going good at all. So we decided to kinda separate for a while, until we totally forgave each other for whatever we were mad at each other for. .... and that was before summer started.
I didnt get to talk to my ex the whole entire summer cux I went to Korea during summer, to go see my fucking grandparents. I mean, theyre nice and everything, but theyre just so slow and boring and just plain old no fun. Anyways, I also changed my email during the summer, so I didnt ever bother checking my old account, since i got so much spam mail and shit like that. It was annoying the fucking crap outta me.
So there went my summer, and i turned 16, and then a couple of days later, school started. I met my friends, and amongst them was, obviously, my ex. Hi, Howya doin. You look good today. I missed to during summer. .......... That shit was so fucking awkward, i couldnt stand it. So I went to him during lunch that day and ended it all, except for our friendship, So now, we dont really have any "feelings" for each other anymore. Just plain old friends again, like the good ol' days.
Anyways, so whenever i went on AIM, i would see the online guy's sn blocked waaaaaayyyy down there on my buddy list screen. I didnt really care, until a couple of days later, after I had this amazing conversation with one of my girlfriends. She really is a truelly amazing girl. My best-friend-out-of-school. She was telling me how her best friend at school had a fight with another one of her kinda good friends, and they started hating each other. So being her best friend's best friend, she started not talking to her kinda good friend at all. Until a couple of days ago, she told me, when she realized how fucking immature she was being in not talking to her because of such a crummy reason. And after talking with her for HOURS on the phone about it, I saw the guy's sn on the bottom, and suddenly thought about how fucking bitchy i was to him the whole time when he was trying to persuade me not to try and break up our 'friendship'. ........... So i unblocked him. Decided to put all the shit behind and start fresh again. ........ and that was today, just a couple of hours ago. He's sleeping now, and we decided to talk again. He gave me his number again, but I really dunno if i'm gonna call him sooner or later. Because I clearly remember, the last time i did that, it became like a habit of some sort, and i ended up sleeping really really really late and shit like that. I dont wanna experience that shit again, either. So I dunno. Maybe. It depends.
oooooooh that was loooooong. Well u kno what? fuck it, cuz i just had a lot to say :)
gotta go and finish mi tarea now. ttyl kiddies xoxo <3<3<3
oooooooh that was loooooong. Well u kno what? fuck it, cuz i just had a lot to say :)
gotta go and finish mi tarea now. ttyl kiddies xoxo <3<3<3